


Heavy Bones

by Fluffyboots



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Fix-It, Love Confessions, M/M, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Smut, Spoilers, Starting Over, Upto 137, my ereri ending to the manga, post-apocalyptic imagery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:21:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29330751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffyboots/pseuds/Fluffyboots
Summary: Levi paid no mind to the severed arm that was lying next to his foot. Ahead of him, peeking over a splintering rooftop, were the remains of the Founding Titan. It’s giant head, caved in skull and hideous face. The ribcage that collapsed to form a bone monument in the middle of the city it had destroyed.Levi scowled. He didn’t like looking at it, that… that thing. He refused to call it Eren. It wasn’t – it wasn’t Eren. That thing, that skeletal monster, it was a horror birthed in that place of sand.~The Rumbling is over, and Levi finds something new to cling on to.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 40
Kudos: 216





	1. Torment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally decided to throw my hat in the manga fix-it ring!
> 
> This fic diverges from the end of chapter 137. It works under the assumptions that killing Zeke and blowing off the Founding Titan's head did indeed stop the rumbling and "kill" Eren. Our starting point is in the aftermath of all that. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

It was over.

  
The Rumbling; that colossal shit-show that threatened humanity’s very existence.

  
Over.

  
Just like that.

  
Shearing that monkey bastard’s head from his flailing body hadn’t felt at all like Levi had expected. He had expected, hoped, that there would be a flash of joy or relief. That he would find some fulfilment in the sensation of flesh fraying against his blade, the brief resistance of Zeke’s spine prior to it being severed at the vertebrae. He’d lopped that man’s head off like it was nothing. And maybe that’s all it was.

  
Nothing.

  
That was what he’d felt. A numbness that soaked into his bones, a horror that ate further into his gut as he sliced through Zeke’s neck like heated lard. Hollow, devoid of anything real. Nothing. It had shattered him, and he was still unsure as to why.

  
He’d wasted time, collected scars and ate away at himself, for what? Erwin was dead – he couldn’t give a shit about what happened to Zeke. The promise Levi made him was flimsy at best and based on the circumstances at the time. Now? There’s no telling what Erwin would want. In fact, he wouldn’t want anything.

  
The dead can’t want for anything.

  
Revenge had consumed him. Levi had clung onto it, grasping it tight enough to further mutilate his hands, for it was all he had. There was nothing else. No one else. Just anger, seething rage, and pain so deep it was like a bullet lodged in his bones.

  
Then, he’d let it go. Up there in the sky, on the back a winged titan that defied all logic, he’d released it. He’d let go of Erwin. He’d let go of revenge. He’d been left with nothing, just a lightness in chest and a breath of freedom in his lungs. But then, this.

  
Death.

  
Death. Always more _death_ . It hadn’t felt good, it had felt rotten. Like bile in his throat; like putting down a suffering animal. Levi was sick of it. He didn’t want to kill or slaughter, he didn’t want to pick a side in a meaningless war that sought to destroy them all. He just wanted… _fuck_ ; the things he wanted. It didn’t matter.

  
He’d watched the founding titan fall apart in the wake of the explosion. It had been a landslide, a culmination of dust and powdered bone that filtered down to Earth as if it were volcanic ash. What happened afterwards, Levi barely remembered. Now it was rubble. Nothing but a ruin, a vessel, hollowed out and vacant of whatever life it had housed before.

  
Eren.

  
Eren was dead… and Levi remained. They’ll say he won, that he saved the day, but all he saw was more pain.

  
Now, truly, he had nothing.

  
That was why he decided not to go with the others to share the news of victory. He wanted to stay here, wallow in the dirt and fading memories. He’d spent the evening walking through the shattered city, passing the pulpy pools of blood that were once people, now pulverised and flattened into the gravel. It was splattered everywhere, the red of death. More carnage than Levi had ever seen before.

  
Levi paid no mind to the severed arm that was lying next to his foot. Ahead of him, peeking over a splintering rooftop, were the remains of the Founding Titan. It’s giant head, caved in skull and hideous face. The ribcage that collapsed to form a bone monument in the middle of the city it had destroyed. Levi scowled. He didn’t like looking at it, that… that _thing_. He refused to call it Eren. It wasn’t – it wasn’t Eren. That thing, that skeletal monster, it was a horror birthed in that place of sand.

  
That’s what Levi told himself.

  
Still, he found himself walking towards it. Perhaps it was morbid curiosity, or maybe it was the fact that the Founding Titan still held a resemblance to Eren’s. It was disintegrating slower than usual; a phenomenon that they attributed to the disruption of The Paths. The withering particles had nowhere to return to. 

  
He shot his anchors into a tall building and flew up onto the roof. Operating his gear was difficult without two of his fingers, but he was gradually getting the hang of it. It took time to build strength in his weaker digits. He’d practiced – when he still had Hanji – he’d found sticks on the path and started training his pinky and ring fingers to grip independently.

  
Levi walked along the rickety rooftop; half demolished by boulders that had been flung up when the Founding Titan’s head crashed into the ground. He had a good view of it from up here. The giant skull was still giving off a slow but steady steam as the flesh singed in the open air.

  
He remembered, vividly, the deranged scream Mikasa had let out while whacking away at its nape. There wasn’t much of it. Mostly bone, some tissue. She’d been searching for Eren… or whatever remained of him. Her blades had torn that monster’s neck asunder, viscously slicing through every last ligament until there was nothing left.

  
No more nape. No Eren.

  
Nothing.

  
Levi didn’t know what he’d been hoping for. He’d thought that, maybe, he would at least get to look down at Eren’s tormented face once more and feel _something_ . He’d even thought that, in the end… he might’ve been able to tell Eren about that feeling he had. The one that swelled his heart and threatened to rupture his aorta, and just how much it fucking _hurt_.

  
“Fuck you,” Levi hissed into the evening air.

  
He wanted to go down there kick that Founding Shithead’s skull in. Maybe he should. He didn’t care of any risk to himself, and he wasn’t exactly in a rational state of mind. He just needed somewhere to direct the agony that was shaking in his bones.

  
Fuck it.

  
Levi shot his hook into the lower structures and launched off the rooftop. He descended swiftly, releasing his gear just in time to land in front of the steaming head. Fuck, it really was ugly. Slowly melting away like stewed beef, muscle losing all definition and sinking into itself like a true corpse. Disgusting.

  
He felt tiny standing in front of it. Just a man staring at a slaughtered God, seeking a relief that he knew it couldn’t give. Grief bubbled in his veins until flared into anger.

  
“Asshole. You’re a fucking asshole!” Levi threw his leg out, the toe of his boot hitting the titan’s head with a satisfying crack. “Look at what you’ve done, shithead! Why didn’t you talk to me? Why didn’t you trust me? You fucking idiot, I could have– fuck!”

  
He kicked it again, again – taking his frustrations out on this giant, inanimate head as if it were still capable of feeling. He didn’t stop when his foot started to ache or when there was a crunch in one of his toes. It was nothing, nothing, _nothing_.

  
“Eren!” Levi’s voice broke, his leg swinging into the Titan’s head once more. He stumbled forward when its skull cracked beneath the impact. Regaining his balance, he stepped back and let shallow breaths ravage his lungs. 

  
Shards of bone clattered to the ground as steam spewed from the opening. It caused the head to flatten some, the release of pressure leaving the structure to sink and collapse further into itself. He’d broken it. Which only seemed fair, considered that it had done the same to him.

  
Steam continued to billow out, the white plume hissing like a thermal vent as it dissolved into the arid air. Levi felt the heat of it from where he stood. It eventually relented; faded into a softer mist as bone fragments crumbled away from the edges of the crevice. He could practically see inside the festering head – flesh and sinew lining the inside of a skull that had no need for a brain. Hanji would’ve found it fascinating, but him? He just thought it was vile.

  
A breath hissed through Levi’s teeth. His jaw ached from how hard it was clenched, his palms stung from the blunt stab of his nails, and his eyes, his eyes burned with moisture. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now. Go back to the others, stand proud and listen as hordes of civilians praised their names? He wasn’t a hero. Not even close.

  
People were dying then, and people were still dying now.

  
Levi swallowed, watching with bleary eyes as another pocket of steam erupted from within the titan’s skull cavity. Witnessing the gradual breakdown of flesh was oddly therapeutic. However, his eyebrows furrowed when with the next blow of hot air, a scraggly bit of fabric was also expelled. It flittered in the steam before dropping down to slap wetly against the cement.

  
Levi inched forward, and upon closer inspection, realised that the fabric was soaked through with blood. It looked to be a scrap of torn clothing. He wondered if, maybe, items could get caught within a titan if they happened to be in the way when its body materialised.

  
A longer bit of fabric accompanied the next expulsion of steam. The end of it was caught within the titan’s fleshy head, stuck behind webbed tissue and tight ropes of sinew.

  
Levi was, for the lack of a better word, enthralled. He reached out and grabbed the fabric, ignored the horrid squelch of blood between his fingers, then pulled. There was resistance; like the deceased flesh was simply unwilling to part with whatever was trapped within. He gritted his teeth and pulled harder on the sopping fabric. Finally, something gave.

  
A hand popped out.

  
A hand… inside The Founding Titan’s head.

  
Levi was frozen in shock for the better half of a minute. He just stared at it; this glossy red appendage that he had managed to dislodge. It seemed to be about the correct size… for an adult man.

  
Without any further thought, he grabbed onto the bony, blood-caked wrist and started pulling. It wasn’t easy, but he didn’t stop. He just pulled, pulled, until the arm it was attached to had been torn from the titan’s braincase. It was soon followed by a shoulder, a torso, and finally, a head.

  
Eren’s head.

  
Even through the layers of blood, Levi could tell straight away. From the hollowness of his cheeks, the long, wet hair that dangled off his scalp, and the height, the sturdiness of his frame that Levi still hadn’t gotten used to. Eren. It was fucking Eren. 

  
Levi’s mind raced as he tried to pull the rest of Eren’s body out. Why? How? The Founding Titan had been destroyed; The Rumbling had been stopped. The Paths… he didn’t even fucking know, but that bitch Ymir was yet to rear her head. So, why was Eren here, why now? He must have been in the skull this entire time. Whether it had just happened that way due to the titan’s lack of a substantial nape, or if Eren had consciously placed himself there to evade their attacks, Levi had no idea.

  
It didn’t matter now; for the rest of Eren’s body was finally pulled loose. His legs slipped from the titan’s flesh in a slew of blood, his limp body sliding out and into Levi’s arms like a gangly new-born foal.

  
Levi caught him despite the mess. Despite the blood that slopped down his front and dripped down onto his boots, the steam that burned his palms, stung the stubs where his fingers had been amputated. He held onto Eren, despite it all.

  
Levi shuffled back, his heart thrumming fast as he laid Eren’s body down on the shattered brickwork. He couldn’t believe it. That bastard had hidden himself in the titan’s skull like a chicken in a golden fucking egg. No one had thought to look elsewhere, only the nape, the throat.

  
But Levi had found him.

  
He uses his sleeves to wipe the blood off Eren’s face. It was smeared everywhere, steaming off his skin and weighing down his clothes, clinging to his hair in the most putrid way imaginable. Levi didn’t even bother with his hair. He passed his sleeve over Eren’s neck, then used his hands to better wipe away the residue from Eren’s face. His thumbs dragged beneath Eren’s eyes, ran along the hollow of his cheeks, gently passed over his Eren’s lips and pulled at the sides of his mouth. It was as clean as Levi was going to get him.

  
His hands moved down to Eren’s neck, fingers applying a light pressure as they slid up beneath his jaw in search of a pulse-point. It was gentle, soft, but still –

_  
Thump_.

  
With that single beat, Levi left his logic behind. He didn’t stop to think, didn’t wait to consider the bloodbath of decimation that Eren had rained down on them or what his survival could spell for the future. There was no time.

  
Levi unclipped his cape and pulled it off his shoulders. He maneuvered it onto Eren’s limp body, covering up his torn and scorched clothes with the baggy layer of fabric. It was an improvement even with the blood smeared down the front.

  
“You’re one lucky son of a bitch,” Levi said while pulling the hood up over Eren’s head. If anyone were to recognise him, they would want to end his life once and for all.

  
He stood up, then grunted as he hauled Eren’s body up from the ground. Eren’s height was beneficial. Levi could easily get underneath and slump him over his shoulder. He didn’t dare try to use his 3DGM. Carrying an unconscious body would be hard enough under normal circumstances; his missing fingers and other lingering injuries meant it was damn near impossible. Instead, he dragged Eren off into the flattened ruins of Marley.

  
There was a fair distance between them and the Safe Zone. In the wake of such a catastrophe, the surviving Marlean Army, along with volunteers, had set up impromptu medical facilities and were still scouring the rubble for survivors. All still living had been evacuated back to the where the buildings were stable and the streets weren’t littered with human remains. They saved who they could, and comforted the ones they couldn’t. 

  
Levi knew he was close to the Safe Zone when he saw a pair of volunteers trying to lift a boulder off a man’s fractured leg. He would’ve offered to help if he didn’t already have enough shit on his plate. He slowed down to adjust Eren’s weight on his shoulder, and while doing so, made sure that his hood was still pulled down over his face.

  
A pair of soldiers were standing watch from the Safe Zone. _Fuck_ – maybe he shouldn’t have cleaned all that blood off.

  
“Isn’t that one of those island Eldians?”

  
“Must be. He’s got that uniform.”

  
“Hey!” One of the soldiers waved their arm and rushed over. “Are you injured?”

  
Levi’s arm tightened around Eren’s torso. His pulse was raging by the time they stopped in front of him. “Not me.”

  
The soldier glanced at Eren, eyes flicking over his cape before he reached out to peek underneath the hood. “He’s one of yours?”

  
“No,” Levi said. “Just another survivor. I was doing my own search further out.”

  
“Miracle he wasn’t squashed by those devils.” The soldier let the hood fall back down over Eren’s face, not appearing to harbour even a slither of suspicion. “Mmn… we’re stretched thin, but I think tent four has a couple beds left. You want help carrying him?”

  
“I’ll take him myself.”

  
“All right, it’s just down there to the left.”

  
Levi nodded, then carried on in the direction he’d been shown. Of course, he couldn’t actually take Eren to a medical tent. That would be fucking insane. Though, he supposed that what he was doing now was insane, too. Once he’d walked some distance, he looked back and checked that the soldiers were no longer watching him. He made a sharp turn into a narrow alleyway.

  
There weren’t many options. He needed a private location to check on Eren’s condition, but those were hard to come by in the middle of all this chaos. Soldiers and civilians were everywhere. All it would take was for a single person to recognise the man he had crumpled in his arms and report it. He couldn’t go back to the others, not yet, not until he’d done an assessment and had a moment to think.

  
Levi cut through the alleyways and darker streets, arm aching from the weight he was bearing but keeping hold all the same. The further they got from the Founding Titan, the better.

  
He ended up at a rickety little Inn on the outskirts of Marley. It was all he could think of, the only place where he might be able to hide Eren from prying eyes.

  
There was only one problem.

  
“No money, no room.”

  
Levi glowered at the woman behind the desk. Fuck, you’d think that people would show a little humility in the wake of a disaster. “I said I’d pay you later.”

  
“Promises won’t cover the bills,” she said. “Accommodation is in high demand. Half the city is homeless, and every poor sod needs a place to stay. If I let you slip in, others will come asking the same. I’m all for charity, but even times like these, I still got to protect my business. It’s all my family has.”

  
“I understand,” Levi gritted through his teeth. “But this is a special situation. We’re soldiers from Paradis; it’s thanks to us that your business _and_ your family weren’t bulldozed along with the others.”

  
Her frowned, eyes flicking over his uniform before shifting over to Eren. “And him? This is an inn, not a hospital.”

  
“He’s already been discharged; medical tent four. He just needs a bath and some rest.” He hung onto Eren and leaned towards the desk. “Give us three nights. I’ll pay for five, and I’ll mention your generosity to my superiors.”

  
“Pay for six and you’ve got yourself a deal. I want half by tomorrow night.”

  
“Fine.”

  
She sighed while reaching beneath the desk to retrieve a key. “Room seven. Second floor.”

  
Levi took the key, muttering an empty _thanks_ before making his way up to the room. Eren was a bitch to drag up the stairs. Of course, she had given him the most inconvenient room.

  
Once he’d made it inside, Levi locked the door and hauled Eren into the bathroom. He did a half-ass job of cleaning him up; poured water through his sticky hair and wiped away the blood from his body. He still wasn’t thinking. He wouldn’t allow himself to, not now. As soon as he started thinking, there was a good chance that he would start to question what the fuck he was doing. He just focused on Eren, the fact that he was alive, barely, and safe.

  
As safe as he could be.

  
Eren’s clothes were in tatters, but the lack of anything to change him into deterred Levi from removing them. The blood had dried. It shouldn’t make much of a mess.

  
He wrung out Eren’s hair and watched red water gurgle down the drain. It’ll do for now. After patting Eren down with a dry washcloth, Levi lifted him up and relocated him to the bed. He spread his green cape over the duvet before lowering Eren onto it.

  
Levi stared down at him. He could finally see Eren again, the man that had been entombed in a thick layer of blood and dust. His face, the washed-out tone of his usually warm skin, the grey that encompassed his eyes and made him look far older than he should. There were no obvious injuries. It must be like the last time… a comatose state that will lift once he’s regained enough of his energy.

  
With nothing to do but wait, Levi pulled out a chair from the small dining table and sat down. Autopilot turned off; the thoughts finally came.

  
_What the fuck was he doing?_

  
These past weeks, every waking moment had revolved around the singular goal of stopping Eren. And they had. He’d killed Zeke, they’d blown that Founding Fucker’s head off, and that revolting centipede that had wriggled out of its spine? They’d killed that too. It was over. Done. Just like that.

  
But here was Eren. Somehow alive, despite what they had all thought.

  
Levi knew, logically, that he was doing something dangerous. He had no reason to believe that Eren would be any more co-operative than he had been previously. When he wakes up, _if he wakes up_ , Eren could very well go crawl back into the Founding Titan’s head and finish what he had started. All because Levi had given him one chance too many.

  
He should’ve slashed Eren’s head off, stuffed him back into that rotting shit-pile and left him to decompose with it. He should’ve alerted the others to his discovery. Maybe he still could… but he knew that having all those voices and opinions would only complicate things. Mikasa wouldn’t want to let him go, Jean would probably advocate for finishing him off. It was better than Levi dealt with this alone. He could wait for Eren to wake up, try to talk to him, try to get through to him.

  
If it all turned to shit and Eren refused to see reason, Levi could kill him without having to burden anyone else with the knowledge of it. Assuming Eren wouldn’t kill him first, that is. But he still hoped, foolishly, that he could reach into Eren and revive something that had perished long ago. A spark, a hope. Compassion.

  
He had never given up on Eren. Not really.

  
Levi’s selfishness could be the death of them all.

* * *

Levi had spent the night hunched over in the dining chair. The rigid wood left him with a backache and barely three hours of sleep, but it was the best he could hope for under the circumstances. He wasn’t complacent enough to remove his gear while watching over Eren.

  
He had to be ready for anything. A colossal titan smashing through the ceiling, soldiers knocking on their door, or that fucking centipede flying out of the toilet and trying to slither up Eren’s nose. He’d thought of it all, sitting in the dull glow of a lamp and watching the dawn break over Eren’s face.

  
He looked so mature. So much stronger, even if it wasn’t true in his current state. Levi had seen it before, but it was different now. In sleep, Eren didn’t look angry or defensive. His features had relaxed into their natural expression. It brought attention to how his face had slimmed in parts and filled out in others. 

  
It wasn’t the worst thing to stare at all night.

  
Once sunlight had filled the room and drowned out his lamp, Levi got up to grab himself a glass of water. Today, he would have to check in with the others and somehow scrounge up the cash to pay for their room. Leaving Eren alone was the last thing he wanted to do, but it was a necessary risk. They’d be fucked if the innkeeper decided to report them to the authorities.

  
Maybe he'll loot the houses that had been demolished. With his gear, he could get further out into the ruins than anyone else.

  
Levi placed his empty glass down on the table. He rolled his shoulders, his neck, stretching his muscles and working out the kinks.

  
“Cap… tain…”

  
That low voice made Levi’s skin prickle. He was ready for anything… but not this. He turned towards the bed, one hand settling on the grip of his blade, just in case. Eren’s eyes had cracked open; that familiar teal shining through his lashes like the sky through parting storm clouds.

  
“Captain…” Eren’s eyes were glassy, lids blinking slow and remaining closed for longer than they should. He was barely awake, and he sounded delusional. His voice was weak, feeble, all air and no substance. “Did we… did we do it?”

  
Levi clenched his jaw. He wasn’t sure what Eren was trying to ask him, or if these mumbles even had any relevance to reality. His grip loosened around his blade as he approached the bed. One step turned into another, and soon Levi was close enough to see the glint of hope in Eren’s eyes as he said,

  
“Did we stop The Rumbling?”


	2. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two is here! Thank you everyone for the encouraging comments, I hope you enjoy this one as well. 
> 
> I'm not expanding too much on what happened since I want to keep this short. There's probably a few plot holes but fuck it, I just want a (relatively) happy ending for the boys.

A heavy breath seeped into Levi’s lungs. He wasn’t ready. Even after all the nights he had spent staring at a wall and thinking about the things we wanted to say, he still wasn’t ready. For Eren to look at him like that, speak to him like that. With such… familiarity.

_  
Did we stop The Rumbling?_

  
The words repeated in Levi’s head like a damned echo chamber. They confused him, agitated him, tightened his jaw and made his hand tremble on the hilt of his blade. _We?_ Eren done fuck all except keep secrets and screw them over. The emotions that raged in Levi’s gut were too complex for even him to decipher. Fury, bitterness, relief, gods knows what else, all contradicting each other. He wanted to stab his sword through Eren’s chest. He wanted to caress his cheek.

  
Levi couldn’t speak. He could only stare at Eren, the withered man that was huddled up in his cape like a lost child. Eren, alive and awake. Somewhat. A haze still clouded Eren’s eyes, and each blink only weighed them down further. His head wobbled in a weak attempt at movement.

  
Perhaps Levi would have more time after all. Eren was barely in a state to lift his head, let alone to discuss the intricacies of his attempted genocide. He was proven correct.

  
Eren’s eyes drifted shut soon enough. However, before he blacked out completely, Eren’s brow creased as his fingers curled towards the mattress. His voice was lighter than a whisper now; merely a murmur carved into a sigh of air. “What’s on… your face…”

  
Levi removed his hand from his blade. His throat was raw despite not having said a word. Eren was motionless now, having fallen back into the abyss of unconsciousness. Those final words had stirred up a turbulence in Levi’s chest.

  
Of course, Eren had not yet heard of how Zeke had almost ended his life, and nor had he seen the wreckage that it had left behind. It was natural that he would be confused by the bandages wrapped around his face. But even so, the comment had left Levi with an unusual sense of unease. He wondered what Eren would think of it. If he would look away, if he would spew out platitudes and pity. It almost frightened him.

  
Almost. 

  
Levi sighed, then turned and walked into the bathroom. The tub was sparkling clean, a task that he had taken care when he’d become restless in the night. It would be impolite to leave blood splattered everywhere. The rest of the room was filthy in comparison, but he forced himself not to touch it. He was a guest, not the fucking housekeeper.

  
He stopped in front of the sink and wall-mounted mirror. Rust was nibbling away at its thin metal frame, and on the bottom of the mirror were a few smudges of soap scum. Levi didn’t look at that, though. He only looked at himself. His mutilated face, the thin lacerations that ran down one side, and the white bandages that did a rather poor job of covering them. He watched his expression turn grim in the reflection. 

  
Levi didn’t look at himself much. He never had, but now, even less. On the rare occasions that he did, he felt a multitude of things… and at the same time, nothing at all. It was by luck alone that he had managed to serve for so long without sustaining a permanent injury. He didn’t have much to complain about – under worse circumstances, that explosion would have blown his head right off. Still, it made him feel nauseous. He often forgot about the injuries whenever they weren’t itching or burning. 

  
The bandages were no longer required. He could’ve taken them off a while ago, but up until now, had opted not to. He wasn’t entirely sure why. Maybe he hadn’t been ready to embrace the person he had become. Broken, tired, weakened by injury and trauma. He was glad to have survived… but now, when Levi stared into the mirror, he didn’t see Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. All he saw was a man who couldn’t take much more. A man who had lost almost everything. The people he loved, parts of himself. 

  
But not Eren.

  
Levi let out a shallow breath as he reached up behind his head. His fingers worked through the bandages until they were loose enough to fall off his face and crumple in his hand. It had been some time since he’d seen himself without them. The cuts on his face were still somewhat fresh, those jarred scars lined with tender pink skin. He left the square patch on his cheek – those wounds were deeper, more of a stab than a slice. And… his eye.

  
Truth be told, Levi had been terrified of uncovering it. Hange had given it a thorough assessment. They’d said that he shouldn’t lose his vision, that his brow and eye socket had prevented the shrapnel from cutting too deep. _Just a corneal abrasion._ He hadn’t wanted to find out, he’d wanted to avoid checking for himself. But now, here he was. Reminded of the faith he’d had in them. He could see out of his injured eye, albeit not all that well. It was blurry. Sensitive to light. Eyes heal fast, Hange had said. He would just have to wait and find out.

  
Levi stared at his face for another minute or so. He’d been hiding behind those bandages, pitying himself and mourning what he had lost, but no longer.

  
It was time to be strong again.

* * *

  
  
Levi walked up the stairs with a scowl on his face. He’d been out scavenging in the ruins of Marley and had returned with more than enough coin to pay off the innkeeper. It had been easy. Thanks to his gear, he’d been able to search through the flattened homes that no one else could reach. The work had been dirty, foul. He’d seen trampled bodies with purses still clutched in their hands. Many of them had grabbed their savings before fleeing their homes, only to have the coins spill out into a river of their own blood. He wasn’t sure if that constituted stealing. He assumed not, given that the victims likely had no surviving relatives to come and collect their assets. Marlean soldiers would have eventually stumbled upon the money and kept it for themselves. His conscience was clear, but fuck, it had been a horror to see.

  
And he was harbouring the person responsible.

  
Levi unlocked the door to their room and walked inside. He closed it behind him, then took two or three steps before realising that Eren was sitting up on the bed. _Fuck_. He was fully awake now, and Levi was lucky that he hadn’t decided to run off while he was gone.

  
Eren still looked like shit. Blood was crusted on his scalp, the remnants of what Levi had tried his best to remove, and his face appeared hollow and sickly. He had Levi’s cape draped over his knees, eyes cast down as his hands sifted idly through the fabric. His hair was out, hanging down on either side of his face, somehow beautiful still.

  
Eren looked up at him, and terror quickly sunk into his eyes. “Captain, what... your face, what happened?”

  
Levi had been preparing himself for this. Thinking about it as he walked around Marley, as he dug through countless piles of mangled corpses. People on the streets hadn’t stared at him as much as he’d thought they would. At a time like this, gruesome wounds weren’t anything new to them. Still, he was annoyed that Eren had chosen to ask about his appearance instead of addressing the larger issue at hand. “Your ape shit brother tried to blow me up. It wasn’t very effective, as you can see.”

  
“God… fuck,” Eren said. His breath trembled on his lips, and then he looked down while sweeping a hand through his hair. Silence. He took a moment to process it, eyes scrunched shut and a pained expression digging into his face. “I… I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. How? I mean, when… shit.”

  
Levi squared his jaw, his eyes thinning as they scoured Eren’s face. “The details are irrelevant. We have more important things to discuss.”

  
Eren nodded absently. His fingers dug deeper in his hair, tugging on the strands and thinning his lips in discomfort. “Ah, my head hurts... but, go on, Captain. You know there’s only so much I can tell you. My plan–”

  
“Your plan,” Levi interrupted crassly. “The one where you Rumble humanity out of existence? It’s no wonder you never let me in on the secret. If I’d known, I might have reconsidered serving you up to Historia.”

  
Eren’s face darkened. “Who told you about that?”

  
“Don’t fuck with me, Eren.” Levi grimaced. He met Eren’s eyes and presented a challenge with his own. “I can still kill you. Remember that.”

  
“We’re on the same side.” Eren’s expression faltered when faced with the bitterness of Levi’s voice. He seemed conflicted; eyes flicking around, jaw tense and body restless, thoughts shooting through his head like flares in the dark. Finally, something cracked under the pressure. “Listen–”

  
That’s what Levi was here for.

  
“I’ll tell you. If you already know that much, then I guess I have to.” Eren winced as he rotated to hang his legs off the side of the bed. His voice was still hoarse, his body weak and frail. “The Rumbling wasn’t my idea. I saw it when I touched Historia. It’s always been foretold; by the First King who trampled Marley with Ymir, by the King of the Walls who created the colossal titans and threatened to flatten the Earth. My father, and then me. I saw it, I met a young boy and saw how he would be crushed, but I… I don’t want to do it. The memories haunt me, I get confused, but I’m not of royal blood. I don’t have to bend to their will. I can subvert it.”

  
Levi sucked his teeth. He had no fucking clue what Eren was talking about, but he assumed it was going somewhere. “Right.”

  
“The Restorationists weren’t wrong. If we just kept hiding on Paradis and doing nothing with our power, we’ll all eventually be wiped out. I need to do something, Captain. I need to connect with the Founder…” Eren blinked slowly. He smoothed Levi’s cape out over his legs, then started folding it up into a square. “But I won’t Rumble the Earth. Ymir is the Founder, the origin… if I can free her from enslavement and inherit her powers, I’ll be able to use the Founding Titan on my own. I won’t need Zeke or royal blood if I _become_ the original. I could have full use of the Founder while also being free of the influence of past Kings.”

  
Levi’s mouth had dried up. This feeling, it was like having his tongue caked in sand. Listening to Eren’s story… nausea stewed in his gut, crept up his spine and chilled his blood. 

  
Something was wrong.

  
“I’m going to use Zeke to enter the Paths and free Ymir,” Eren said. Another wince creased his brow, and this time he massaged his fingers over his scalp instead of pulling at his hair. “If I can do that, take Ymir’s power and free her soul, it should lift the curse and allow me to spend my life protecting Paradis, or until we can end the war. I could create another titan army and command them to protect the shores of Paradis, so that they’ll continue to do so even after I die. And if that fails, then… I’ll destroy that world. The Paths. It’ll mean that no one after me can inherit the Founding titan, or possibly, that titans will disappear altogether since no one will be there to sculpt them. I don’t know for sure. I’ll pick a course of action when the time comes. I just need you to trust me, please. Take me to Zeke and–” The words died on Eren’s lips, replaced by a breathless sound of descending fear.

  
Levi could only watch as the gears turned in Eren’s head. The feeling in his gut got heavier, heavier. 

  
“But… I was with Zeke.” Eren’s eyes had widened, gained a new level of alertness. His expression slowly contorted as he gripped his hair once again. “Not long ago.”

  
Levi swallowed past the lump in his throat. The destruction was greater than he’d thought. The pain, the suffering. He could sense what Eren was about to say like one would predict an incoming storm.

  
“How did I get here?”

  
Levi managed to choke out a single word. “Eren…”

  
“I was in the paths, I… I know I was.” Eren’s breath became shaky and quick, panic rising to the surface as his eyes frantically flicked around the room. “I was there, and Zeke, and… and Armin? I don’t understand, h-how is that–”

  
“Eren,” Levi repeated, this time with assertion. “Where were you before?”

  
Eren let out a pained sound. He grasped his head firmer, then leaned down towards his knees. “Before?”

  
“Before this.” Levi’s words sounded distant even to him. He was watching a nightmare unfold, merely observing as he dissociated from the havoc of emotions that were burring in his mind. “Tell me what you remember.”

  
“I was in the paths,” Eren whispered. “I connected with Zeke; we were taken into the paths. My… my neck hurts, but I was there, just before. I saw memories, so many memories, and– and Zeke tried to control the Founder. I was so close. I was right there. I was about to free Ymir and take the Founder for myself, I thought if I just… if I just touched her, if I showed her compassion, she would realise that she could be free. I saw her memories, I heard the First King, then I… I don’t know what happened. I remember seeing Armin but, but I think I was dreaming.”

  
“Dreaming?”

  
“Yeah, I… I had a dream where I was a little kid again. I was dancing in the clouds, so high up that I couldn’t see anything but clear blue sky. It felt so strange. I thought it was freedom, but then there was no way to get down. I just had to stay up there, keep moving like a bird. I felt like I’d fall out of the sky if I ever stopped, so I… I kept flying. What could that mean?”

  
“I don’t know,” Levi muttered. He was barely listening at this point. In his head, in his gut, there was only anguish and frigid cold. Eren wasn’t deceiving him. He could tell by the confusion on his face, the void of helplessness in his eyes.

  
Eren didn’t remember. Not the city he shattered, or the countless bones that had been broken beneath his feet. He didn’t know that the streets were flooded with blood and littered with disfigured corpses. That little boy was probably among them. Crushed; just as Eren has seen in his visions.

  
This wasn’t what Levi had prepared for. To see the hope return to Eren’s eyes and know it would be slain the moment he stepped outside. To hear Eren speak like he still had a chance, a plan, and know that it had already failed.

  
They had failed.

  
  
━━━━━━━━┛ ✠ ┗━━━━━━━━

_“It’s pointless, Eren. Once the Founder begins to move, nothing in this world can stop her.”_

_Eren embraced her. Held her, welcomed her, but the thing he’d invited in was darkness. The memories. The King. The Source of All Organic Matter. They flooded him, tainting his mind and his being. He made contact with Ymir, and through her touch, he was exposed to their poison. He became her. She became him. A single Founder; bound in linked chains. He saw it. Her – them – stumbling into a tree and fusing with what slept within. Freedom was an illusion. Their path was laid out by the one presiding over them._

_Back two thousand years, a foreign organism was born into the body of man and thrown into a world of hate. It was restless. Confused. It understood only the basal instincts of the host that bore it. Survive. Grow. Eat. Eat._

_It chose to obey, to follow the will of the King who praised it, and that will soon became its own. Hatred festered in a thing that was once free of man’s sin. Eren saw it. Eren felt it. As it wrapped around his spine, thrummed in the back of his mind, tainting and polluting as it was bid. The parasite was in his head, and he was left in the realm of sand. To dream. To fly. To soar in the false freedom that he was fed._

_He kept seeing it. He kept hearing it. The memories of Ymir, the Founder, the source of all organic life._

_Back when she first began to move._

_“In the name of Fritz… annihilate the hated people of Marley.”  
_

━━━━━━━━┓ ✠ ┏━━━━━━━━

  
  


A breath hissed through Eren’s teeth as he released it. “But then… I woke up here. How can that be? My memories are all fuzzy, I- I don’t know how I got here.”

  
Levi couldn’t find the words to tell him. As senseless as it was, he couldn’t bring himself to cut through Eren’s heart. He would find out. Of course, he would. There was no avoiding the truth, but Levi didn’t have the strength to say it. He was selfish. He wanted to preserve the light in Eren’s eyes, even if it was only for a moment. “I found you unconscious. I carried you here.”

  
“Unconscious?” Eren met his gaze. “Where? And… why? Shit, what if Zeke or Ymir found a way to remove me from the paths? If he’s still there, he might–”

  
“He isn’t.” Levi couldn’t stop himself from sounding distant. Not when he knew that both their hearts were about to drop off a cliff and shatter on the ground. “Zeke isn’t in the paths.”

  
Eren’s eyebrows furrowed. “How can you be so sure?”

  
Levi fell into grim silence. What could he possibly say? He couldn’t lie; not when there was no hope of avoiding the truth. Through his reluctance, Eren could clearly tell that something wasn’t right. Levi watched it bloom to the surface. Doubt, fear, suspicion, all cutting into Eren’s brow and pulling down on his lips.

  
“What happened?” Eren asked, his tone becoming standoffish. “What aren’t you telling me? I need to know.”

  
“It…” Levi struggled to even whisper. His stomach was sinking, sinking, like rocks into the deepest of lakes. “It didn’t work, Eren.”

  
“What do you mean?”

  
Levi didn’t need to say anything more. He could already see the alarm bells going off in Eren’s head, and next came the fragments of panic that floated to the surface.

  
“What does that mean?!” Eren stood up, the lack of response only frightening him further. He seemed to suspect, in some deep recess of his mind, what Levi was talking about. His legs knew to propel him towards the window, and his hands to yank back the curtains that hadn’t yet been opened. He stared out. “What…”

  
Levi’s hands balled into fists at his sides, so tight that it made his pulse throb in the stumps of his fingers. He could see it, too. Over Eren’s shoulder, out through the glass that separated them from the world. Marley. This suburb was still standing, but in distance were piles of rubble and filthy plumes of smoke. Fire was an effective way of clearing the debris. The most obvious give away, however, was the wall of colossal titans looming on the horizon. They were stationary, deceased, all giving off scalding clouds of steam as their flesh melted into the air.

  
The only consolation was that Eren couldn’t see what laid beneath their feet.

  
“What… is this…” Eren was frozen on the spot. His body trembled; his eyes were unblinking. He just kept staring out into the decimation as if he was waiting for it to disappear. “The titans… no, this– this isn’t right. That’s not what happened, I- I was flying, I didn’t…”

  
Levi could barely stand the horrified quiver of Eren’s voice. It did something to him, something primal, with the way it strangled his heart and threatened to cut off his circulation. There was nothing to be done. Nothing to be said. Nothing that could ease the pain or alleviate the agonising guilt. From where the titans were standing in the middle of Marley, it was clear that they had already trampled half the city.

  
“That’s not what happened,” Eren repeated. He was distressed now, frantic, hands reaching up to claw at his scalp and pull at his hair. His mind was trying to catch up with what he was seeing. To understand it, to rationalise and comprehend it. He stumbled back from the window with panic soaking every inch of his being. “No– no! That’s not what I did, that’s not what happened! I was somewhere else, I didn’t… I didn’t do this. I didn’t mean to do this!”

  
“Eren–”

  
“Why is this happening? What did I do?!” Eren fisted at his hair as tears spilled down his cheeks. He was hyperventilating, distraught wails breaking through his quick and desperate breaths. “What did I do, what the hell did I do?! This wasn’t supposed to happen, I was– I was going to do something else, but I killed them. I killed them, I killed–”

  
“Eren,” Levi said, louder. He couldn’t just stand there and watch Eren descend into madness. Both for his own sanity, and the off chance that someone may hear his words of admission. He rushed forward and grabbed Eren’s arms, doing all he could to stop him from pulling his own hair out. “I’m here, Eren. You’re not alone.” 

  
“But why– why did this happen?! I was going to help, I was going to stop it.” Eren let out a strained cry. “I was going to stop it! I didn’t want to kill them, I’m– I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do it–”

  
“I know.” Beneath it all, past all the tragedy and suffering, Levi had only one wish. To help Eren, the man who had been with him through so much over the years. The person who Levi had always trusted, always had faith in, even if it wavered at times. That beautiful monster who was on the brink of losing what was left of his humanity. Levi moved his hands to Eren’s shoulders and tried to make him turn around. “Look at me, Eren. Look at me.”

  
A sob trembled in Eren’s throat; all choked up on tears and bile. He reluctantly turned around, afraid of what he might see. The whites of his eyes were burning and red, muscles shaking beneath his skin, and in the depths of his eyes laid a dark and harrowing terror.

  
Levi wasn’t afraid to stare into them. “I believe you.”

  
“Levi,” Eren sobbed quietly. He collapsed like a building and fell into Levi’s arms as rubble. His hand wrapped around Levi and clung desperately to his back, barely putting in the effort to keep himself standing while burying his face in Levi’s shoulder.

  
Levi welcomed it. The weight of Eren slouching against his chest, the sobs that quaked through the body in his arms, the hot tears that seeped into his shoulder and left his skin damp. He would share in every last drop of Eren’s pain. “I believe you, Eren. Whatever happened… it wasn’t your fault.”

  
“How, how can you say that?” Despite his words, Eren pressed further into Levi’s shoulder. “I killed them – I killed so many people. How can you forgive me?”

  
Levi sucked in a deep, burning breath. Eren’s tall frame made their embrace difficult, and so he guided them towards the side of the bed before they both collapsed. The bedframe creaked as they sat down on it, arms still tangled around the other’s body. “This isn’t forgiveness. It’s acceptance.”

  
Eren was still crying, still shaking, but less distraught than before. His panic had dissolved into grief. Unable to get a word out, he shook his head against Levi’s shoulder.

  
“The destruction can’t be undone,” Levi said. “But I believe that this wasn’t your intention, and that you hadn’t known what the outcome would be. Nothing can be changed, so… I’m accepting it.”

  
“I–” Eren’s shoulders trembled, fingers digging into Levi’s back as his hair scrunched up against Levi’s chin. “I don’t deserve even that.”

  
“Maybe not.” Levi swallowed, and it was painful. He couldn’t stop himself from running his hands over Eren’s back, from bumping his fingers along the hunched curve of his spine. The action gave him just as much comfort as it did Eren. “But it doesn’t matter. I’m still here.”

  
Eren released a tortured breath. He peeled his face away from Levi’s shoulder, tears coating his cheeks and sticking to his eyelashes like morning dew. He didn’t open his eyes. He simply pressed his forehead against the side of Levi’s, like he was trying to read the thoughts from within his head. “Why?”

  
That whisper almost broke him. As did looking at Eren’s face, so close to his own and shadowed by torment, such raw desperation. He was beautiful even in suffering. “I’m complicit in this. I didn’t have it in me to stop you, and I wouldn’t have saved you if I didn’t trust you.”

  
“You’re still protecting me.” Eren’s voice was quiet, awed and disbelieving. His eyes cracked open, an irritated red encapsulating the teal irises that stared straight into Levi’s. “Captain.”

  
Levi’s breath halted in his lungs. “Don’t call me that.”

  
“Is that not who you are?”

  
“Not anymore,” Levi whispered back. It was so easy to get lost in Eren’s eyes. Those eyes; pained but now free of madness. When they stared into each other, it was easy to forget of the horror that was waiting for them outside.

  
“Then…” Eren’s forehead brushed over Levi’s; face drifting closer as he let out a breath of warm air. “Levi.”

  
It was in a moment of silence that Eren’s lips touched his own. Levi was caught off guard, despite the fact that he had seen it coming. The contact was brief, barely a graze of skin, but it still filled his chest with jitters. Maybe it was what he’d wanted all along. For Eren to confide in him, to share in the feeling that had been gripping Levi’s heart for so long.

  
Again, he acted selfishly. He pressed back against Eren’s lips and swallowed the relieved sob that spilled from them. Eren’s lips were so soft, so warm, and took such care not to bump the wounds on his face. They moved together, pouring their anguish into the mouth of the other. Eren’s tongue gently slid over the cut on his lower lip. Levi wanted so badly to embrace it, to open himself up to Eren’s solace and drown in it. But not now – not while they were both shot down and bleeding on the floor. He had to refrain.

  
Levi broke the kiss by turning his face away, but his hand rubbed over Eren’s shoulder to assure him that it wasn’t a rejection. “This isn’t the time.”

  
Eren’s breaths were shallow, and he was unable to hide the desperation on his face. “I wasn’t…”

  
“I know.”

  
Eren nodded faintly, then buried his face back in Levi’s shoulder. His arms tightened around Levi’s back. He sobbed quietly now, with guilt and heartache trembling from his body and dying in the crook of Levi’s neck. 

  
Eren clung to him now more than ever. 

**Author's Note:**

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